Dear BP:

Invigorate. Really? Invigorate?

Listen, marketing types -- I don't want my car invigorated. Nor do I want it revitalized, energized, vivified, roused, bucked-up or rejuvenated. Maybe I'm getting old. I understand this. But I'm sane enough at this point in my life to understand that I drive a 90bhp 90's-vintage diesel sedan, not a frakkin' sports coupe, okay?

I'll be satisfied if your fuel just allows me to get from point A to point B without any major engine damage. And without, thank you, any invigoration.